UNIV 100 Regent University Communication and Conflict Resolution Discussion UNIV 100 Discussion What did you learn this week about communication that stoo

UNIV 100 Regent University Communication and Conflict Resolution Discussion UNIV 100 Discussion

What did you learn this week about communication that stood out to you, and what does scripture say about resolving conflict?

side note

“In the second year of the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, Nebuchadnezzar had dreams; his spirit was troubled, and his sleep left him. Then the king commanded that the magicians, the enchanters, the sorcerers, and the Chaldeans be summoned to tell the king his dreams” (Daniel 2:1-2, English Standard Version)

The wise men of Babylon were unable to interpret the king’s dreams without first hearing its details. Enraged by this response, the king ordered his captain Arioch to kill all the wise men of Babylon. However, when he heard of this, “Daniel replied [to Arioch] with prudence and discretion” (Daniel 2:14) as to the decree’s nature, after which “Daniel went in and requested the king to appoint him a time, that he might show the interpretation to the king” (Daniel 2:16).

As a godly man in a pagan culture, Daniel had to be wise – using “prudence and discretion” in the way he communicated with the people around him, especially the king.

Jeff Bradford, President and CEO of the Bradford Group, writing for Forbes, made this comment: “Any management consultant will tell you that communication skills are vital to success in business. Business is fundamentally about getting other people to do things — getting employees to be productive, customers to buy your product or service, government to leave you alone — and you can’t make these things happen if you can’t communicate well.”

Excellent communication is a skill that is critically important not just in the academic environment, but in everyday life. To succeed in academics – even in the online environment – proper communication is key. A better understanding of the fundamentals of communication will help us reduce misunderstandings, ensure accuracy in sharing information, and improve relationships. Speech characterized by “prudence and discretion” is a noble goal.

The materials this week provide basic information about the mechanics of interpersonal communication and also explore the motivations for our speech. UNIV 100
MODULE 3 – COMMUNICATION
DR. KEVIN CRAWFORD
Foundations

Rhetoric and Communication
What is Rhetoric?
Rhetoric [ ˈretərik ]

noun: rhetoric

the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing,
especially the use of figures of speech and other
compositional techniques.

language designed to have a persuasive or impressive
effect on its audience
synonyms: oratory · eloquence · command of
language · a way with words
Powered by OxfordDictionaries · © Oxford University Press
What is Communication?

Communication is the relational process of creating and
interpreting messages that elicit a response.
Messages are at the core of communication study.

Communicators usually make conscious choices about a
message’s form and substance.
Messages are symbolically encoded and decoded by
people based on the meanings they assign.
So, Communication Takes the Art of Rhetoric
beyond Words…

Communication is an on-going relational (and, in the
modern world, often mediated) process between two or
more people, which both affects their interpretation of the
messages as well as the nature of the connection between
the people.

Communication also has a persuasive effect upon the
people who receive it, provoking or eliciting a response.
Consider this…

Human communication is the process by which
verbal and nonverbal messages are used to create
and share meaning. As this happens, one mind
influences another, and lives are changed for better
or for worse.
Communication as an Act of Love
St. Augustine argued in his Confessions 397AD

“Evil is parasite.” In other words, evil has a diminishing effect.

Evil is privation of the good, even to the point of leaving nonentity
(Confessions, Ill.vii.12).
So, through the exercise of the will people orient themselves, in one way or
another, in reference to God and others.
That is, all we do communicates morally as one mind influences another.
And, corrupted wills are capable of disordering the loves, lives, and words of
others with whom they communicate.
***
All communication is an act of love or…
Sound Familiar?

Style, but NO Substance


Informative, but NOT
Transformative


(empty, uninspiring, even
slanderous)
(weighty issues tried in the
media as a war of words
delivered in sound bites)
Entertaining, but NOT Satisfying

(merely laughing at our
problems)
The Deep Reality of Human
Communication
Amplified good or amplified evil

C.S. Lewis on our interactions with other people
“All your life long you are slowly turning this central
thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish
creature.”
from “The Weight of Glory”
The Challenge of Communication


Work to make it more effective… Godly!
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that
you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col. 4:
6).
Deal Appropriately with Conflict
IF communication is the relational process of creating and interpreting messages
that elicit a response, and given that all of us fall far short of true virtue…
THEN there’s bound to be conflict/misunderstanding.
Apply Matthew 18
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of
you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
War of Words: Getting to the Heart for
God’s Sake
Desiring God 2008 National Conference
The Power of Words and the Wonder of God
September 27, 2008 | by Paul Tripp | Topic: Speech | Conference: 2008 National Conference
(These are notes taken during the session, not a manuscript.)
There are three things I know about you:
1. You talk. Every day of our lives and every relationship is filled with talk. Words are God’s
idea, and they belong to him. So when you hear the word “talk” you ought to hear
something that is high and holy and important. Let us never regard talk as something that
doesn’t matter.
2. Both the saddest and the most celebratory moments of your life have been
accompanied by talk.
3. Your world of talk is a world of trouble.
This last point is defeating, but the redeeming love of God is extremely zealous. And because of
that we can have the courage to look at this difficult area.
What is the trouble of our talk?
For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, 44 for each
tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are
grapes picked from a bramble bush. 45 The good person out of the good treasure of
his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for
out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. (Luke 6:43-45)
Christ teaches us in this passage that we live out of our hearts. What does the Bible mean by the
word “heart”? It means the causal core of your personhood. It is your directional system, your
steering wheel. Your behavior isn’t caused by the situations and relationships outside of you. It’s
caused by the way your heart reacts to those things.
Word problems aren’t vocabulary or technique problems. They are heart problems. Christ uses
the example of the tree. Apple trees are apple-istic all the way down, a principle of organic
consistency. We want to think that our problem is outside of us rather than inside of us. But that is
a very dangerous heresy, because when you can convince yourself of that, you quit being a
seeker after the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. You must come to admit that you are your
greatest communication problem.
Much of what we do in our attempts to change communication is nothing less than trying to nail
apples onto a fruitless tree. You may get it to look authentic and good for a little while, but those
apples will soon rot and the tree will be fruitless again next year.
It’s only when you stand before your Redeemer and are humbly willing to say, regardless of the
flawed people you live among, “I am my greatest communication problem,” you are heading in a
direction of fundamental change.
What is the war for the heart?
It is most briefly summarized in a little phrase in 2 Corinthians 5:15: “[Jesus] died for all, that
those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was
raised.” Sin is fundamentally antisocial. It makes myself the primary focus. It is all about “I want, I
want, I want, I want, I want.” Apart from Christ we are vats of desire and entitlement. Notice Paul’s
warning in Galatians:
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an
opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is
fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you bite and
devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. (Galatians
5:13-15)
We must never say that harsh, proud, unloving, ungracious communication is ever OK. It’s not
OK. God has invested words with power and Paul says that people can be destroyed by what
you say. Sin dehumanizes the people in our lives. It makes them either into vehicles that help me
get what I want or obstacles that get in the way of what I want. If they help me get what I want, I
speak kindly to them. If they’re in the way, I speak harshly to them.
God didn’t give us grace to enable us to serve our own kingdom. He gave us grace to enable us
to serve his kingdom. The entire law is summarized in a single command: love your neighbor as
yourself. Why is that a summary of all that God calls me to? Because it is only when I love God
above all else that I’ll ever love my neighbor as myself. You don’t fix language problems
horizontally. You fix them vertically.
What kind of kingdom is the kingdom of God? It’s a kingdom of boundless, glorious, powerful,
personal, transforming love. The center event of that kingdom is a shocking sacrifice of
redeeming love. You know nothing about his kingdom unless you understand that it is a kingdom
of love. And it’s when our hearts are taken up with the mystery of that great love that our words
become words of love and peace and healing.
True love is not propelled by duty. It is propelled by gratitude. We love because he first loved us
(1 John 4:19).
What is this thing called love that is to drive my world of talk?
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been
born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God,
because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God
sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love,
not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the
propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one
another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and
his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12)
You don’t define love through a set of abstract concepts. You define love according to what God
did. Love is willing self-sacrifice for the redemptive good of another that doesn’t demand
reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.
But as long as sin still lives in me I get lured into the desires of my claustrophobic little kingdom
of one. I try to get satisfied with the little glories that will never really satisfy me, and I need the
saving grace of Christ.
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through
the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 4 by which he
has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may
become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in
the world because of sinful desire. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
If you are God’s child the power to live according to love is already in your storehouse. This is not
a future “will be.” It’s a redemptive present “is”! He has given us everything we need for life and
godliness so that we have access to it today.
O that we would live out of that identity! Instead we live in the poverty of inability when we have
been enabled by Christ.
What are the gifts of our redemption?
Forgiveness of our sins by the blood of Christ
Empowerment to do those things that he calls us to do, and
Ultimate deliverance from every ounce of sin in our hearts.
The glorious kingdom of transforming love is ours for the taking. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your
Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). Why would you enter once again
the claustrophobic confines of your own little self-centered world?
What kingdom rules your words? Whose kingdom do you speak in service of? The
claustrophobic kingdom of self or the big-sky glory-infused kingdom of God? For most of us this is
mixed, and so we still need the redeeming grace of Christ.
Three ways to pray each morning:
1. God I am a man in desperate need of help this morning.
2. I pray that in your grace you would send your helpers my way.
3. I pray you would give me the humility to receive the help that comes.
©2012 Desiring God
Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any
format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the
cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred. Any
exceptions to the above must be approved by Desiring God.
Related Resources
Speak Truth with Your Neighbor (Sermons)
The Lips of Knowledge Are a Precious Jewel (Sermons)
Who Made Man’s Mouth? (Sermons)
Talking to People Rather Than About Them (Taste & See Articles)
When Words Are Wind (Taste & See Articles)

Purchase answer to see full
attachment