Fundação Getúlio Vargas Food Sustainability Initiatives Discussion AP Revision: Reverse Outline Instructions 1) First, save a new copy of your draft. You

Fundação Getúlio Vargas Food Sustainability Initiatives Discussion AP Revision: Reverse Outline

Instructions

1) First, save a new copy of your draft. You will want to be able to make large-scale changes without fear.

2) Next, write a Reverse Outline for your essay. To do this, go through your current essay draft and, one paragraph at a time, write a brief summary of each. This doesn’t have to be a perfect-looking outline, but paragraph summaries should include a) main ideas/points covered, and b) any key details or evidence that you use to support and develop those ideas.

3) When you’ve finished, you should have a complete Outline of your essay as it is. Go over this and look for opportunities to revise. These may include, but are not limited to:

Structural changes (moving paragraphs/points/ideas, deleting things that don’t belong, etc.)
Development changes (adding more evidence, detail, explanations of key terms or concepts, etc.)
Logical changes (addressing counterarguments, filling in gaps, recognizing and addressing challenges to the solutions you’re advocating for, adding more scholarly or credible back-up for your arguments)

4) Make those substantial changes in the new file that you saved in Step 1. Use new font colors, bolding, highlighting, comments, Track Changes, or whatever else you want to mark where the changes have been made. By the end, this should be a colorful and/or marked-up draft!

The Submission

You will submit (in one document, if possible):

Your Reverse Outline
Your changed draft (yes, the whole thing!)
A brief (250-500 word) Reflection that explains what you changed, why you changed it, and how this experiment has strengthened your essay. (You are also welcome to explain what you won’t keep, if you think the original version of something worked better.)

it is prof‘s comment

As I’m reading your AP, I am going to be writing down comments as I read along….then at the end I will give a summary and overall opinion of the AP. First paragraph: You wrote, “production is supposed. to follow carefully the inclination…” I think this is a great opportunity to include a piece of evidence to make your claim stronger…like where does it say that or who says production is supposed to be produced without harmful methods. There’s a sentence that I did not understand (“The paper champions the attributes of producing…”). I’m not sure of that sentenced was written correctly or if I’m just super tired but I think defining what paper champions means would be a great addition. I’m not sure if this is a better idea, you Ould ask prof. for approval, but I think u should say “this article” or “this essay,” instead of “the article” or “the essay” because as a reader, I think “which essay? This essay?” Or are you talking your CP? Second paragraph: Maybe define what GMO crops are? In the fourth sentence, starting with “The GMO…” instead of a comma, you should replace that with the word “and” since you didn’t add a third fact about GMO and the whole phrase after the comma seems like a statement. I don’t know what “wild relatives” means in this context, so I suggest defining it incase other readers like don’t know either. I would suggest to change the word “technically” to something else, because it is a but relative. In the area of the essay where you spoke of the fossil fuels, I’m not sure if my computer changed the format but I see it aspect of second paragraph…I would suggest making it into its own paragraph, if its not already and quantify how much risk is attacked to the emissions derived from fossil energy, instead of saying, “enormous.” Thord paragraph? This paragraph was really good, it’s the one about the use of fertilizers and it’s affect on the environment. I think this should be earlier in the essay. There’s definitely information in this paragraph that you could mention in your thesis statement, which, by the way, is said clearly in the intro paragraph, but I think you could be more specific….maybe by mentioning the fossil fuels or fertilizers, since you spoke a lot of in your essay. Overall, I enjoyed learning new things as I read your essay but its a bit repetitive and I think that if you record yourself reading it out loud and hear it, you’ll see where you can make some adjustments/improvements. Also, there are multiple opportunities where you can quantify the statements you made. I would suggest perhaps adding some chats, numbers, pictures, You could maybe find a visual that shows the rising trend of acid rain recorded since GMOs have been in use. Just an idea. These are all just suggestions , I don’t mean to be harsh but I am trying to give you feedback that could make your AP better. Surname 1
Name
Instructor
Course
Date
Food Sustainability Initiatives
Introduction
Sustainable food is attributed to be safe for human consumption. Its production is
supposed to follow carefully the inclination of being produced without various harmful methods.
This is intending to combat food insecurity that is experienced all over the world. The
detrimental techniques of food production involve chemical usage, fossil fuels, growth
promotion supplements, and employment of hazardous pesticides, among others. The regime of
fighting the growing hunger is an inclination that is sending various farmers to employ various
means to mass production, and this is causing strife more than imagined. The paper champions
the attributes of producing food in a stance that employs the use of fewer fossil fuels as a source
of energy, the conservation of biodiversity through controlled usage of chemicals and pesticides.
The need to adopt deceased usage of GMOs is also addressed in the article. Significantly, the
paper champions minimal production using a greenhouse to protect the ozone layer from
emitting harmful rays, among other projections (Springmann et al.). Technically, the essay
indicates the dangers that are brought about by the measure of trying to solve the aspect of
spreading hunger across the globe. It analyzes the detriments that are caused where mass
production of food is involved.
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Food Sustainability Programs and their Effect to the Environment
The measure of increasing food productivity is something that is taking a new turn, and
various elements are getting incorporated to ensure that there is sufficient food to feed everyone
in the world. Technically, multiple farmers have shifted to the mass production of GMO crops.
This implies an increased food supply that is defined by first growth and increased resistance to
pests and diseases. The GMO products are technical, harmful to the immune system as they
lower the body’s response to antibiotics as provided by various research. It is efficient to
understand that science is still working out the side effects that are brought about by GMO
products to pass them fit for consumption (Steier, 293). The benefits that come with GMOs is
that the nutritional value in foods is enhanced as well as the income that is earned by the farmers.
This, however, does not make us forget the effects that come with these products, such as the
transfer of wild relatives that affects the typical plants in the environment. It is thus advised to
embrace GMO products with caution as they are still under study to ascertain their actual value
towards the stance of trying to achieve food sustainability.
The use of pesticides and chemicals is an attribute that has been employed to ensure that
food insecurity is critically fought. This paradigm is, however, considered to have many issues
that affect the production of food negatively. The effects include environmental degradation and
the stance of causing health issues (Prashar & Shachi, 331-360). The range of effects that come
with the use of pesticides is something that requires a critical inclination to solve the issue.
Technically, the proficiency of food production through increased use of pesticides is projected
to be more of a harm than good. The toxic elements that are released from pesticides are
expected to affect the soils by raising its acidity and thus lowering production (Adenekan &
Johnson). The water is also affected through leaching of the pesticides or sweeping away into the
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water bodies and thus causing disturbance to another biodiversity such as fish and sea plants.
Crops that are not intended for pesticides can get caught in the event of treating other plants, and
this can be harmful not only to the plants but also to those who will consume the crop (Adenekan
& Johnson). Technically, pesticides are initiated to fight diseases and pests, but their wrong
usage would be detrimental and thus causing more harm than good in the stance of fighting food
insecurity.
Fossil fuel is an essential aspect of the sector of food production. It is employment in the
measure of producing fertilizers, which is another harmful substance towards the environment
and health of organisms. The risk attached to the emissions derived from fossil energy is
enormous. The production of fertilizers involves the use of fossil fuel. Fertilizers will be
discussed later to indicate how harmful they are in the goal of sustainable food production. The
health risk that comes with fossil fuel is observed in the inclination of chemical toxins that are
produced, and this contributes to the creation of acid rain, which is harmful to the plants and
humans to extension (Gonenc, & Bert, 307-327). When plants are hit by acid rain, productivity is
affected, and this lowers the goal of realizing food sustainability. The environment is affected
more than we can imagine in the attribute of trying to solve the issue of food insecurity. Climate
change is something that is caused by fossil energy due to the emissions that get into the
atmosphere to create the depletion of the ozone layer. Technically, the immediate problems that
are brought about by fossil energy are the health risks to humans due to the gases that are
released to the atmosphere and acid rain that directly affects the environment and thus causes a
shortage in food productivity (Gonenc, & Bert, 308-325).
The use of fertilizes in mass production has been in practice for a very long time
(Waterlot, & Marie). Fertilizers are defied to increase productivity, and this defines their
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widespread adoption. The continued use of fertilizers, however, poses a risk that is deemed to
lower the level of productivity. The fertility of the soil is made to decrease, and certain plants are
known to perform poorly under fertilizers. It is essential to master the patterns of employing
fertilizers, as this might cause you when incorrectly used. Does this help fight the issues of food
insecurity? This is a question that many people will ask themselves to ascertain the significance
of fertilizers towards developing a sustainable food production system (Prashar, & Shachi, 331360). The environmental effects brought about by the use of chemical fertilizers is hazardous
despite boosting fast growth in plants. For instance, nitrogenous fertilizers pose a risk to the
environment through the stance of increasing the level of acidity in the soil and lowering the pH.
Fertilizers have also been indicated to perform best in long term use. Their stability for
continuous productivity is something that cannot be fully accounted for as well (Waterlot, &
Marie). Technically, the inclination of employing fertilizers in the mass production of food is
questionable due to the effects that it is attached to.
Discussion
Mass food production is observed to employ biased measures, and it is thus critical to use
techniques that can realize both efficient environmental production measures and food
availability as well. The paradigms addressed above indicate the inclination of being
environmentally unfriendly, and it is thus prolific to consider the attribute of reducing their use.
It is even better if they are deployed sparingly to ensure that there is a balanced stance between
abusing the environment and health complications. Scientists are normed to try and find
solutions that conserve the environment and human health in the inclination of trying to fight the
venture of food insecurity. Technically, it is significant to understand that the pollution of the
environment is expected to cause more harm than good in the event of trying to achieve food
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sustainability (Springmann et al.). The measure of investing in research on the method of
parameters that can help achieve food sustainability while respecting environmental conditions
and health risks is necessary. Technically, this can help the venture of realizing food security
throughout the world.
The dangers that are caused by the issues provided above indicate the stance of being
careful to solve food insecurity issues. Technically, it is prolific to understand that when we fail
to conserve the environment, the risk is high as opposed to the problem that we are trying to
solve. The venture of increased environmental degradation is the worst enemy to resolving the
situation of trying to realize sustainability. The focus of production should be fundamentally
projected towards the encompassing of providing environmentally viable foods, should we
require to attain increased productivity (Steier, 293). The aspect of clearing forests to practice
cultivation should be reduced as this is more of a harm than good. The inclination of conducting
irrigation in dry areas is also essential as this promotes the disposition of mass production.
Ventures of using manure in the place of fertilizers should be employed for radical
environmental protection.
Research on the appropriate measures of production must be heightened to solve the
problem of food security. The third world countries are the most affected by factions such as
hunger. This is due to the lack of critical farming skills and insufficient input to help them realize
large-scale production. It is essential to embrace technology into production, for it has been seen
to increase productivity and minimize wastages. Proper storage measures help in the disposition
of ensuring there are minimal wastages after harvesting. The concept of environmental
protection is in the study, and researchers are championing various methods of farming, such as
rotational farming, which has been known to improve the fertility of soil as well as ensure that
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food security is realized in the long-run. The paper is loud in the stance of promoting
environmental protection to achieve food security (Waterlot, & Marie).
Conclusion
From the projections made in the paper, it is significant to understand that food
production is a concept that is buffeting the world in fully achieving an increased natural
resource base. Sustainable food production paradigms are supposed to ensure increased soil
fertility when employed. The improvement of environmental conditions is to be realized as well.
The benefits of embracing mass production are significant, but this does not make us assume the
issues that come with it. The quality of life for the farmers is projected to improve where it
involves mass production. The concepts of food production are supposed to consider the
inclination of enhancing soil fertility rather than lowering it. Technically, the practices of using
pesticides should be controlled to avoid raising the acidity of soil and thus reducing its
productivity. The significance of all these is produced in a sustainable environment that ensures
there is enough for everyone. It is practical to understand that when the world achieves
sustainable food production parameters, various needs shall be realized through the creation of
an expanded earth’s natural resource base. The stance of defeating food insecurity is something
that seeks proactive measures such as irrigating the dry areas rather than squeezing in the already
congested regions or clearing other vegetative covers.
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