EN 106 Park University Smartphones Addiction Review Please read The Below First I’m looking for someone who does not use Chegg or Course Hero or any onlin

EN 106 Park University Smartphones Addiction Review Please read The Below First

I’m looking for someone who does not use Chegg or Course Hero or any online cites to provide your answers. The professor checks these other sites as well. If you do this to provide your answers and don’t use your own, let me know immediately so I can choose someone else to assist me. I have been notified that an assignment was linked to Chegg or Course Hero etc.

Someone that uses their own words, so nothing can be found on the internet.

Someone who does not Plagiarize others work from online websites.

I have word documents attached with the instructions.

Then let me know.?

Thank you.

Subjects are:

Writing

Text book,

Lunsford, Andrea. EasyWriter: A Pocket Reference. 6th Ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2016. ISBN: 9781319050764
Greene, Stuart and April Lidinsky. From Inquiry to Academic Writing: A Text and Reader. 4th Ed. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2018. ISBN: 9781319071233

Your answers will be original?

The professor or anyone will not be able find these answers on any online website?

Please answer:

1. Read all the instructions and let me know if you have any questions about what must be done.

2. Your answers will be all original?

3. Do you guarantee that all your work is original and none of what you write can or will be found on any online site?

Therefore, I try to provide a longer time for the work to be completed. Peer Review Feedback
Step Three: Identify another student whose essay has not yet been peer-reviewed. Read the
essay and respond to the writer no later than Friday midnight CST. I suggest you use the lineediting strategy called “beginning at the bottom” to give the essay a good, close read for
distracting errors. Simply begin at the end of the essay, and move sentence by sentence
backwards.
When reading the essay, you might:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Look for sentences that begin with “There is….” Sentences that rely on this construction
over-use “be” verbs (is, are, was, were, been) and can be tightened (see Easy Writer, pp. 101102 for strategies to recommend to the writer).
Look for “empty” words (i.e., “kind of” or “thing”) that can be removed or vague modifiers
(i.e., “definitely,” “major,” “really,” “like,” and “very”) that don’t add meaning (see Easy
Writer, p. 100-101).
Look for places were apostrophes should be present to indicate possession, and note needed
changes (see Easy Writer, pp. 122-125).
Look for another common error: lack of agreement between pronoun and antecedent
(see Easy Writer, pp. 84-87). This most often occurs when a writer has referred to a singular
antecedent using a plural pronoun. For instance, this sentence is in error: “The writer
accomplished their purpose.” In fact, “their” should be “his” or “her.”
Look for sentences that start with a subordinating word (see Easy Writer, pp. 96-100 for a list
of subordinating words), often indicating a sentence fragment (see Easy Writer, pp. 90-94).
Note the writer’s sentence variety (or lack thereof) and recommend a paragraph that could
easily be revised.
Note (by paragraph number) the areas of the paper that need more attention to sentence- level
concerns, or that contain a blatant spelling or grammar error or typo.
This is the peer review that I picked for the feedback
Hello everyone,
I have included my revised essay 4 about how smartphones are destroying our culture. I
know I can use some help for this essay for my portfolio. I would love some feedback
about how I can make my thesis stronger. I feel like I am in the right track just not to
sure where how to make it stronger. Something else I could use some help with is how
to include the addiction reading into this essay also. I felt this was one of my stronger
essay that I have wrote for this class so that is why I want make it even better to end the
class. Something I really liked about this essay is I felt I was able to get my feelings on
the paper while providing a good argument. I look forward to seeing what the feed back
is.
Peer Review Feedback
Step Three: Identify another student whose essay has not yet been peer-reviewed. Read the
essay and respond to the writer no later than Friday midnight CST. I suggest you use the lineediting strategy called “beginning at the bottom” to give the essay a good, close read for
distracting errors. Simply begin at the end of the essay, and move sentence by sentence
backwards.
When reading the essay, you might:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Look for sentences that begin with “There is….” Sentences that rely on this construction
over-use “be” verbs (is, are, was, were, been) and can be tightened (see Easy Writer, pp. 101102 for strategies to recommend to the writer).
Look for “empty” words (i.e., “kind of” or “thing”) that can be removed or vague modifiers
(i.e., “definitely,” “major,” “really,” “like,” and “very”) that don’t add meaning (see Easy
Writer, p. 100-101).
Look for places were apostrophes should be present to indicate possession, and note needed
changes (see Easy Writer, pp. 122-125).
Look for another common error: lack of agreement between pronoun and antecedent
(see Easy Writer, pp. 84-87). This most often occurs when a writer has referred to a singular
antecedent using a plural pronoun. For instance, this sentence is in error: “The writer
accomplished their purpose.” In fact, “their” should be “his” or “her.”
Look for sentences that start with a subordinating word (see Easy Writer, pp. 96-100 for a list
of subordinating words), often indicating a sentence fragment (see Easy Writer, pp. 90-94).
Note the writer’s sentence variety (or lack thereof) and recommend a paragraph that could
easily be revised.
Note (by paragraph number) the areas of the paper that need more attention to sentence- level
concerns, or that contain a blatant spelling or grammar error or typo.
This is the peer review that I picked for the feedback
Hello everyone,
I have included my revised essay 4 about how smartphones are destroying our culture. I
know I can use some help for this essay for my portfolio. I would love some feedback
about how I can make my thesis stronger. I feel like I am in the right track just not to
sure where how to make it stronger. Something else I could use some help with is how
to include the addiction reading into this essay also. I felt this was one of my stronger
essay that I have wrote for this class so that is why I want make it even better to end the
class. Something I really liked about this essay is I felt I was able to get my feelings on
the paper while providing a good argument. I look forward to seeing what the feed back
is.
Jessie Steers
EN106DLGU1A2020 First Year Writing II
Ms. Heather Ann
19 July 2020
The Hidden Disease
Sitting around the dinner table with family that I have not seen in months. The conversation is at
a minimal, not because drama or family issues but because everyone is looking down at their laps, with
a slight glowing light on everyone’s face. This has become the new normal, people of all ages now must
fill their time of quietness with what the rest of the world is doing. Technology has become a silent
disease that has gone from a helpful tool, to cutting down on personal interaction and allowing people
use their own minds to fill in those quite moments. This disease that I speak of is the very handy tool
that just about everyone always has in their pocket or within reach, this disease is the smartphone.
Young kids to 85-year-old grandparents all have them, and most overly use them.
Smartphones in themselves are not bad, nor are they an issue. What the issue is, is that how as
a culture we overuse them, addicted to them. “I’m not saying we should get rid of smartphones and
cancel our WiFi. There’s nothing wrong with using the technology available to us. But when our
smartphone usage interferes with our health and relationships with others, that’s when it becomes a
problem. There’s a time and place to use devices and, more importantly, times to put them away
(Scudamore, The Truth About Smartphone Addiction).” Once I realized myself how much I was using my
cell phone, I realized it was a problem. My wife and I were always on them when we were home. We
would play games, text, be on social media. When I realized it was a problem was when my son that was
2 always wanted to have a screen in front of him also. He was seeing what we were doing and wanting
to do the same. This is why when I am at home, I set my phone down and unless I need to contact
someone, or someone is trying to get ahold of me my phone is down. I spend more time with my family,
I am seeing my boys grow up instead of hiding behind a screen.
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The smart phone can really be an amazing tool that can let someone see the world or pretend to
be whoever they want rather that is in a game or just on social media. Either way, being hooked and
addicted to the phone has negative parts like any addiction. “Distracted driving is the most obvious
issue, but millions of Americans are also distracting themselves from their jobs, relationships, and
responsibilities (Understanding the Positive and Negative Impact of Smartphones On Our Health).” Like
any addiction, we can find ourselves using our phones when and where we are not supposed to. Diving
and using the phone can be just as dangerous as drinking and driving. Another sign of addiction is
people get fired all the time from not being able to disconnect from their phone while at work, and it
can cost them their jobs.
Leaving the phone in the car, or at home gives one a sense of freedom, just knowing you can’t
be interrupted or distracted. “Through your disconnected walk might not produce a Socrates-style
rapture, it will yield a new sense of inner freedom. Strolling along a city street surrounded by people
bent over screens, just knowing you’re going “commando” puts a spring in your step (Powers, Pg. 518).”
You will notice the world as you walk, you might see that pretty girl, a fancy car, or even someone that
needs help that you would have just walked by if you had your face down bent over your phone. The
world has so much more to show and teach you through your own eyes then the world through a
screen.
This younger generation is growing up with smartphones being a part of their upbringing, they
see them as important as their own foot. “Teenagers report discomfort when they are without their cell
phones. They need to be connected in order to feel like themselves (Turkle, Pg. 583).” Teenagers should
not have to rely on a smartphone to feel like themselves. Always being connected makes it hard to
discover who they are, smartphones are forming them by what they see on a screen. It is hard to teach
our youth to put down the screen when parents, and grandparents are always on their phones as well.
Having to be connected to the world instead of watching their kids grow up. The last time I was at home
3
visiting my mother’s house with my grandparents also visiting, they had to have their phones in their
hands, had to be looking at Facebook, texting someone, looking something up on the on the internet. I
brought it up multiple times how they are missing out on time with my boys by having their faces
berried in their screens. Even when we did talk, a smart watch had to be checked, a text had to be
answered right then a there.
Youth are growing up with the world at the tip of their fingers, anything they need is achievable
on that small screen that sits in their pocket. “Consider Leo, a college sophomore far from home, who
feels crippling loneliness. He tells me that he “handles” this problem by texting and calling his mother up
to twenty times a day (Turkle, Pg. 585).” How is a young adult supposed to figure out their life being
tethered to their phone and to his mother? What happens if his phone dies? What if his phone breaks?
This is not healthy, as a young adult in college, away from home is the time they are supposed to be
figuring out simple problems on their own. This is a crippling leash on both teens and parents. 20 year
ago, a young adult would not be able to do this, maybe call once a day, but would have to figure out
their own life throughout the day. Learn to deal with the loneliness in other ways. Maybe instead of
relying on his mother, he would make closer friends, being away from home is learning to create your
own family and people you can rely on. Find that best friend that you closer to then a blood relative.
“Technology makes the world feel smaller than it really is. There are all kinds of rooms in
all kinds of places. Every space is what you make it. But in the end, building a good life isn’t about where
you are. It’s about how you decide to think and live. Place your index finger on your temple and tap
twice. It’s all in there (Powers, pg. 524).” This is a great way to sum up how I feel about the smartphones
now, all though I also have a smartphone I try to leave it on my nightstand when I am home, or in the
car if I go somewhere. I found myself where when I had a spare 30 seconds or when having a
conversation with my wife or a good friend, I would be texting someone else, checking Facebook, only
giving that other person half of my attention, if that. Therefore, I call this a disease, a cancer in our
4
society. People are attached to their phones, they feel the need that they must know what a schoolmate
from 10 years prior is eating that day, watch the funny video your best friend just posted to their
timeline. Our culture has moved from being able to just enjoy the view, exploring your own mind, being
creative, or remembering a good memory. They need their spare time filled with whatever they can find
on the screen vs what is on their mind.
Smartphones, although they are great tools where you have the world at the tip of your finger is
also becoming a crippling disease in todays world. We need to learn how to put the phone down again,
teach our youth they don’t need to know what their friends ate for lunch though Facebook. Being
disconnected gives you a freedom. A freedom of you time. A break from the world, friends, drama,
problems. “Here’s the thing: smartphones aren’t going anywhere. While the actual physical devices and
software inside of these devices will probably change rather dramatically over the next couple of
decades, it’s hard to imagine any scenario in which we don’t have ubiquitous access to the internet in
our pockets at all times. There’s no turning back. Understanding this, it’s imperative that we, as a
society, look for ways to exploit the advantages and suppress the negatives. Only then can we truly
prioritize our health and well-being (Understanding the Positive and Negative Impact of Smartphones
On Our Health).” We need to figure out this disease before it’s too late. Every year technology becomes
a better more useful tool, but also is encrypting us each and every day.
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Cited References
Powers, William. “Not So Busy.” From Inquiry to Academic Writing: A Text and Reader, edited
by Stuart Greene and April Lidinsky
Turkle, Sherry. “Growing Up Tethered.” From Inquiry to Academic Writing: A Text and
Reader, edited by Stuart Greene and April Lidinsky
“Understanding the Positive and Negative Impact of Smartphones On Our Health.” The Yale
Tribune, 11 May 2018, campuspress.yale.edu/tribune/understanding-the-positive-and-negative-impact-ofsmartphones-on-our-health/.
Scudamore, Brian. “The Truth About Smartphone Addiction, And How To Beat It.” Forbes,
Forbes Magazine, 30 Oct. 2018, www.forbes.com/sites/brianscudamore/2018/10/30/the-truth-aboutsmartphone-addiction-and-how-to-beat-it/.
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Revision Changes
•
Added two outside sources
– Understanding the Positive and Negative Impact of Smartphones On Our Health.
– The Truth About Smartphone Addiction, And How To Beat It
•
Took my peer reviews advice and changed the paragraph order to try to make the essay to
flow better
•
Found a lot of grammar and wording errors I corrected
•
Try to fix my paragraph length, I tried to shorten my long ones and lengthen the short
ones

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