Critique the following interview followup message, using the AIDA guidelines

Critique the following interview followup message, using the AIDA guidelines for this type of message in our readings.  Then rewrite the message.

Thank you for the really marvelous opportunity to meet you and your colleagues at Starret Engine Company.  I really enjoyed touring your facilities and talking with all the people there.  You have quite a crew! Some of the other companies I have visited have been so rigid and uptight that I can’t imagine how I would fit in.  It’s a relief to run into a group of people who seem to enjoy their work as much as all of you do.

I know that you must be looking at many other candidates for this job, and I know that some of them will probably be more experienced than I am.  But I do want to emphasize that my two-year hitch in the Navy involved a good deal of engineering work.  I don’t think I mentioned all my shipboard responsibilities during the interview.

Please give me a call within the next week to let me know your decision.  You can usually find me at my dormitory in the evening after dinner.