COMM 1P96 Brock University Professional Writing Stories Paper During the term, you will write 5 personal narratives (non-fiction stories about your life).

COMM 1P96 Brock University Professional Writing Stories Paper During the term, you will write 5 personal narratives (non-fiction stories about your life). Please refer to the schedule at the end of the syllabus for due dates and the topics of the stories.

Each story earns 20 exercise points for submission on the assigned dates during the term; however, stories are not read and graded until the end of the term when you submit the final portfolio. Your draft stories should be revised every class during the term as you learn a new writing lesson. For example, if you learn about parallelism after you write Story #1, go back to Story #1 and edit it to add parallel structures. Make sure you’re reading the narratives in the textbook and the excerpts from Showing the Story by Life Rattle Press to know exactly what style I want in your stories. Since you have the whole term to edit and revise your 5 stories, the standard for the quality of the writing in the final portfolio is high.

Other Instructions:

1) Use 12pt Times New Roman font, with borders between .75 and 1-inch, and doublespace your work.

2) Include a title page with your name and student number.

3) Upload your Word file of stories to your personal Drop Box on Sakai by 11:00 a.m. on the due date. Late penalties apply.

Grade Breakdown The grade will be made up of these categories:

50% for writing style and grammar The writing displays economy, strong verbs, active voice, strong nouns, original language,

parallelism, and sentence variation and sound. The writing avoids wordiness, dead verbs, passive voice, weak nouns and unclear pronouns, cliches, faulty parallelism, and monotonous sentences.

40% for interesting, appropriate, detailed stories

(I) Engaging the Reader – The stories elicit an emotional response.

(II) Appropriate Topic – The stories reflect the prompts from the Exercise Schedule.

(III) Appropriate Form – The stories resemble the pure narrative form of the stories in

Showing the Story (simple, chronological storytelling).

(IV) Detail – Using tips from lectures and the textbooks, the stories contain enough

sensory detail and description for the reader to follow along and imagine being there.

(V) Plot – Something happens in the stories (action, conflict), and purposeful actions

connect appropriately to other actions.

(VI) Characterization – The stories bring people to life using techniques described in the

lectures and textbooks.

(These categories were listed in the Week 2 lecture)

10% for punctuation and formatting

The stories use punctuation correctly. See the punctuation rules in the online Udemy course

Perfect English Punctuation for Beginners, which was assigned as viewing for the punctuation

test. As well, format the stories according to the details listed above under Other Instructions COMM 1P96 – Introduction to Professional Communication
Professional Writing Portfolio
During the term, you will write 5 personal narratives (non-fiction stories about your life). Please
refer to the schedule at the end of the syllabus for due dates and the topics of the stories.
Each story earns 20 exercise points for submission on the assigned dates during the term;
however, stories are not read and graded until the end of the term when you submit the final
portfolio. Your draft stories should be revised every class during the term as you learn a new
writing lesson. For example, if you learn about parallelism after you write Story #1, go back to
Story #1 and edit it to add parallel structures.
Make sure you’re reading the narratives in the textbook and the excerpts from Showing the Story
by Life Rattle Press to know exactly what style I want in your stories. Since you have the whole
term to edit and revise your 5 stories, the standard for the quality of the writing in the final
portfolio is high.
Other Instructions:
1) Use 12pt Times New Roman font, with borders between .75 and 1-inch, and doublespace your work.
2) Include a title page with your name and student number.
3) Upload your Word file of stories to your personal Drop Box on Sakai by 11:00 a.m. on
the due date. Late penalties apply.
Grade Breakdown
The grade will be made up of these categories:
50% for writing style and grammar
The writing displays economy, strong verbs, active voice, strong nouns, original language,
parallelism, and sentence variation and sound. The writing avoids wordiness, dead verbs, passive
voice, weak nouns and unclear pronouns, cliches, faulty parallelism, and monotonous sentences.
40% for interesting, appropriate, detailed stories
(I)
Engaging the Reader – The stories elicit an emotional response.
(II)
Appropriate Topic – The stories reflect the prompts from the Exercise Schedule.
(III) Appropriate Form – The stories resemble the pure narrative form of the stories in
Showing the Story (simple, chronological storytelling).
(IV) Detail – Using tips from lectures and the textbooks, the stories contain enough
sensory detail and description for the reader to follow along and imagine being there.
(V)
Plot – Something happens in the stories (action, conflict), and purposeful actions
connect appropriately to other actions.
(VI) Characterization – The stories bring people to life using techniques described in the
lectures and textbooks.
(These categories were listed in the Week 2 lecture)
10% for punctuation and formatting
The stories use punctuation correctly. See the punctuation rules in the online Udemy course
Perfect English Punctuation for Beginners, which was assigned as viewing for the punctuation
test. As well, format the stories according to the details listed above under Other Instructions.
Grading Standard for the Grade Breakdown Categories
(from the Brock Academic Calendar)
A – 90 to 100
Reserved for students where work is of outstanding quality that provides clear evidence of a rare
talent for the subject and of an original and/or incisive mind.
A – 80 to 89
Awarded for excellent, accurate work in which evidence of a certain flair for and comprehension
of the subject is clearly perceptible.
B – 70 to 79
Indicates competent work that shows a sound grasp of the course goals without being
distinguished.
C – 60 to 69
Represents work of adequate quality which suffers from incompleteness or inaccuracy.
D – 50 to 59
Given where the minimum requirements of a course are barely satisfied.
F – 49 or lower
Means that minimum requirements have not been met and no credit has been given for the course.
1
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Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Koerber, Duncan, author
Clear, precise, direct : strategies for writing / Duncan
Koerber and Guy Allen.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978–0–19–900640–3 (pbk.)
1. English language—Rhetoric. 2. English language—Grammar.
3. Report writing—Problems, exercises, etc. I. Allen, Guy, 1947–, author
II. Title.
PE1408.K62 2014
808’.042
C2014-902628-5
Cover image: Atomic Imagery/Digital Vision/Getty
Chapter 5 Photos: city: ©iStockphoto.com/celin; dog: ©iStockphoto.com/Wislander;
car: ©iStockphoto.com/victorhe2002; Winnipeg: ©iStockphoto.com/Arpad Benedek;
Collie: ©iStockphoto.com/DebbiSmirnoff ; Ferrari: ©iStockphoto.com/Sjo
Oxford University Press is committed to our environment.
This book is printed on Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper
and comes from responsible sources.
Printed and bound in Canada
1 2 3 4 — 18 17 16 15
WORKS CITED
Contents
From the Publisher ix
Preface xi
Acknowledgements xv
CHAPTER 1
Write Now: Start, Develop, Revise
Where to Start 3
Examples of Freewriting 4
Two Composition Approaches 7
Beginning with Storytelling 9
“The Stovepipe Hole” by Elizabeth Clark 13
“Cell Phone” by Peter Palladini 16
Academic Writing 20
Revision 26
Types of Editing 28
How and Where to Edit 29
Chapter Summary 32
Further Readings 33
CHAPTER 2
Economy 34
The Morality of Wordiness 38
Forms of Wordiness 41
Editing Wordiness in Academic Writing 48
Peer Models for Emulation 51
“My Mom and Bramalea” by Julie Michelangelo 52
“The Pet Owner’s Burden” by Emilia Di Luca 55
Chapter Summary 61
Further Readings 62
CHAPTER 3
Strong Verbs
63
Concrete Verbs 65
Less-than-Concrete Verbs 67
Abstract Verbs 72
The Greater Consequences of Dead Verbs
Academic Writing and Strong Verbs 79
77
1
v
vi
CONTENTS
Final Thoughts on Strong Verbs 84
Peer Models for Emulation 84
“Going to Chinese School” by Jennifer Lee 85
“Stealing Spirituality: The Non-Native Use of Native American Spirit Guides”
by Graeme Scallion 88
Chapter Summary 93
Further Readings 94
CHAPTER 4
Active Voice
95
Word Order 96
Active Voice 96
Passive Voice 98
The Morality of Passive Voice 105
The Permanence of Passive in Various Fields 106
Is it Ever Okay to Use Passive? 110
Academic Writing and Active Voice 111
Final Thoughts on Active and Passive 113
Peer Models for Emulation 113
“Jafar Uncle’s Chocolates” by Nabila Rizvi 114
“A Flourishing of Humans” by Sara Menuck 116
Chapter Summary 121
Further Readings 123
CHAPTER 5
Strong Nouns
124
The Problem of Pronouns 131
Examples of Unclear Pronouns 132
Pronouns and Repetition 134
The Morality of Unclear Pronouns 138
Inclusive Pronouns 139
Subject–Verb Agreement 140
Adjective–Pronoun Agreement 142
Academic Writing, Strong Nouns, and Unclear Pronouns 143
Final Thoughts on Nouns and Pronouns 145
Peer Models for Emulation 145
“Two Weeks at Notre Dame Hospital” by Eric Ramadi 146
“Tobacco Cigarettes as a Cause of Urinary Bladder Cancer”
by Elizabeth Dancey 147
Chapter Summary 151
Further Readings 153
CONTENTS
CHAPTER 6
Original Language
154
Examples of Clichés 156
Why Would Any Writer Use Clichés? 162
Is it Ever Okay to Use a Cliché? 163
Original Phrasing 165
Fresh Figurative Language 168
Academic Writing and Original Language 173
Final Thoughts on Figurative Language and Originality 173
Peer Models for Emulation 174
“Christine” by Adam Giles 174
“Financial Hardship among Former Professional Athletes and Its
Contributing Factors” by Taylor Lush 177
Chapter Summary 180
Further Readings 182
CHAPTER 7
Parallelism
183
The Grammar behind Parallelism 184
Surface and Under-the-Surface Parallelism 185
Single-Element Parallelism: Part I 186
Single-Element Parallelism: Part II 189
Multiple-Element Parallelism 194
Academic Writing and Parallelism 198
Interview-Based Articles 199
Doing the Interview 200
The Questioner and the Listener 201
Writing Interviews 203
Peer Models for Emulation 205
“Two Hard Years” by Joyce Ong 205
“Solace in Obsolescence: Vinyl in the Age of Free Music”
by Nicole Brewer 208
Chapter Summary 213
Further Readings 214
CHAPTER 8
Sentence Variation and Sound
Sentence Patterns 216
Short Sentences 219
Long Sentences 220
Variation of Long and Short for Effect
222
215
vii
viii
CONTENTS
Academic Writing and Sentence Variation 223
Sound 224
Personal Essays 227
The Power of the Personal Essay 228
Writer as Cultural Observer 229
Writer as Activist 230
Personal Essays and the Truth 233
Three Rhetorical Elements 234
Peer Models for Emulation 237
“I Wear My Too-Black Skin with Pride” by Petura Burrows 237
“Saints and Monsters: The Psychology of Altruism and Malice”
by Nick Zabara 240
Chapter Summary 245
Further Readings 246
Appendix: Research and Citations
Glossary 260
Credits 264
Works Cited 268
Index 270
247
From the Publisher
Oxford University Press is delighted to introduce Clear, Precise, Direct: Strategies
for Writing by Duncan Koerber and Guy Allen. This text provides a concise set
of strategies to help students improve their writing and includes the following
features:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Conversational tone and easy-to-follow chapter structure that will engage
and motivate students
Detailed explanations of enhancing factors and interfering factors that
help and hinder writing
Inspiring quotations from professional writers that acknowledge the
rewards and challenges of producing writing that audiences want to read
Boldfaced key terms that are defined in the glossary
Boxed writing topics that analyze the application of writing strategies in
published writing
Peer writing models for students to analyze and emulate, including academic writing and personal narrative
Exercises that ask students to find and analyze various types of writing
both within and outside of the academic environment
Assignments that give students the opportunity to apply each lesson to
their own writing and that encourage them to revise previous assignments according to each new strategy learned
Chapter summaries and further reading lists
An appendix of documentation styles
A companion website provides podcasts, additional helpful material for students,
and an instructor’s manual.
Preface
Our Philosophy
All people have a desire to express themselves. People want others to hear and
read their ideas and experiences. However, written expression doesn’t come easy.
People struggle with starting to write, with finding the right words. They fear
judgements of their writing—often their own judgements.
People who turn to writing books for help often feel lost. Hundreds of grammar and style points glare back at them. Mastering those hundreds of grammar
and style points looks daunting as a result—and there is no guarantee that mastering every single one of them will help writers express themselves easily and
engage readers. They may become more correct writers, but not more expressive
or engaging ones.
Our philosophy is different.
We think writers need a clear path to expression. That’s why this book contains just seven major lessons about writing. Students find this short list of lessons
provides clarity. The lessons teach students how to become more comfortable as
writers and how to improve their work through editing and revising.
We also think writers need models to emulate. Not masterpiece models,
however. As you’ll see in the aphorisms sprinkled throughout this book, famous
writers do everything we describe but their writing intimidates beginning writers
in its depth and complexity. We believe that beginning writers should emulate the
best work of people at the same stage as them. That’s why this book includes peer
models from students who went through our lessons.
We also believe in focusing on the positives in students’ writing. We’re taught
in schools to be critical and negative. Students find it easier to find faults than
to find strengths. In our classrooms and in this book, particularly with the peer
model writing, we focus on the positives. We respect each student’s effort.
Writing should also connect with readers. The reader can put down the book
or article or the professor can award a D grade to a paper. With this in mind, writing becomes about expressing ideas and experiences comfortably to bring readers
in, to engage them. Good writing is not about glorifying egos or showing off. It
is not about trying to hide from, attack, trick, or confuse readers. Nor should
readers have to guess at what a writer is trying to say—if they have to guess, the
writer’s connection with them is lost.
Good writing, as we emphasize throughout this book, should seem completely natural—for the writer and for the reader.
xii
P R E FA C E
Our Approach
We developed the lessons, exercises, assignments, and general approach of this
book out of decades of experimentation in our writing classes. Looking at the
classroom like a scientific experiment, we tried out various exercises and assignments year after year, testing their efficacy before settling on this set.
The major finding of this long-term classroom experiment was that writing lessons worked best when combined with personal writing assignments
within classroom writing communities. Students found content in their own
lives and then applied the lessons willingly to their life stories. They took editing and revision seriously. Inspired by classroom editing sessions, our students
spontaneously formed smaller editing groups outside of the classroom. Our
courses were intense but rewarding: lessons, exercises, assignments, and regular revision led to writing that many students published in professional publications during or soon after the courses ended. Students applied all the lessons
to their academic writing as well—this book provides peer models of the most
successful ones.
To help beginning writers express themselves in a Clear, Precise, and Direct
way, we have put together a set of strategies or lessons that we call enhancing
factors to increase writing’s effectiveness. The factors allow writers to cut through
the confusion and difficulty of writing and make expression that’s fresh, creating writing that readers intuitively enjoy. Writers who can apply these lessons—
economy, strong verbs, active voice, strong nouns, original phrasing, parallelism,
and sentence variation and sound—will develop a greater facility and precision
with writing. They will express themselves as they want to, in a way that readers
will enjoy.
The enhancing factors help writers take control of their sentences because
they provide signposts—a frame for looking at writing objectively. When looking at writing, we also see seven interfering factors that cause communication
to break down: wordiness, dead verbs, passive voice, vague pronouns, clichés,
faulty parallelism, and monotonous sentences. These seven factors are not the
only problems in writing, of course, but they are the Top Seven and, as such, they
give students a tangible and manageable set of targets for revising and editing.
Students who remove these interfering factors through regular revision improve
their writing dramatically over a short period of intense work.
This book also asks writers to create samples of the major forms of professional
and academic writing: the personal narrative, the research paper, the interviewbased article, and the personal essay. Personal narrative tells the writer’s direct
experience. The research paper relates indirect experience from scholars. The
interview-based article retells the experience of another person. The final assignment, the personal essay, allows students to write about their observations of
trends and activist causes in their communities. We consider each assignment
a natural extension of, not a departure from, the previous ones. Indeed, all the
P R E FA C E
strategies apply to all the forms of writing we describe in this book, and in particular we show how they apply to academic writing in each chapter. We encourage you to see additional connections.
Benefits
Our approach to writing teaching helps students connect their inner and outer
worlds. They don’t remain inside themselves. Typical academic courses do not
make this connection. The subject matter is often so far outside students’ experience it could be on the moon.
In our courses, students who write about issues that matter to them take
ownership of their experience. They care about writing and editing because their
subject matter is so personal. With our list of micro-level enhancing and interfering factors in mind, they begin to see sentences objectively. They also develop
an awareness of other writing issues that we don’t even talk about in this book
(the lesson on parallelism, for example, tends to prevent the dreaded run-on sentence). That’s the spill-over effect of specific, targeted lessons. Students produce
writing that says what they want to say—in their own voices. Students control the
language instead of feeling controlled by it. They feel the urge to write more and
more. That’s fluid expression.
When starting with personal narrative, students can relax—the content is inside
them—and focus squarely on the issues professional writers face. After gaining confidence in personal narrative writing, student writers then turn to academic writing
ready to tackle difficult, often abstract content. Academic writing becomes manageable as a result. Students realize that rather than conforming to a false academic
dialect and style, they have the authority to make decisions on writing; they have
authority to speak in their own voices. After taking our courses, our students tend
to improve in their other academic courses, sometimes by a whole grade category.
How the Book is Organized
We’ve ordered this book just like we order our writing courses: one chapter lesson
represents one week of the course. Each chapter focuses on one major lesson with
many examples. The examples help students see the good and the bad of writing.
The chapters include peer writing that reflects everything we teach. Students read
the peer models—written by students who went through these lessons in our
classes—and immediately understand what we expect.
Each chapter includes exercises developed in the classroom. The exercises
ask students to try out the lessons in novel ways.
Each chapter closes with suggested writing assignments. Topics are open—we
want students to take control of the topic and go where they want to go. Writers
write well when they write about topics they like.
xiii
xiv
P R E FA C E
How to Use This Book
For Students
This book provides a proven, tested set of strategies to help improve facility with
writing. The students who improve the most work their way through the book in
sequence. The chapter on strong verbs, for example, leads topically into the chapter on active voice. The exercises and assignments at …
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